Lil Wing "Mia"

It's Not About You, It's About Me...

Lil Wing "Mia" — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 19:43:15 -0000

Slowly I rise from the once comfortable bed, on which I was lying. I cannot feel my legs, yet I manage to stumble to the dressing table. I glance up and look into the mirror, “who are you?,” I cautiously ask the figure staring back at me. She seems to be so tired, broken and depressed. I wonder if she has always been this way or if something only recently upset her..? I have seen her before, the last time I saw her she seemed so happy and carefree, and yet look at her now…. I see it in her eyes that the world is caving in around her, she is trying to be strong, she is trying to hold it up, but to no avail. She is shaking tremendously and I can see that she fears she is going to fail.

As I stand gazing at her, I see the little droplets fill her eyes. She tries to hold them back, but the emotion overwhelms her completely. Suddenly, I realize that I can feel the droplets that are running down her face, I am feeling her pain and her heartache. This fear is overwhelming, why do I feel what she feels? Who is the girl staring back at me as she cries..?

My legs soon give way, and I sink into an uncomfortable position on the floor. My legs are tucked beneath me, my head is resting on the cold, hard floor and I still feel those droplets running down my face. “Stop this!,” I scream aloud, yet I don’t stop. I begin to shake uncontrollably. “Please stop…?!,” I plead with myself, as the tears flow, this cannot be right. “You have not been so soft in an eternity, what has come over you suddenly?!”

The emotions soon swallow me whole, as I realize that the figure, the one who stares at me, the girl consumed by so much pain and fear, she is really me. My eyes feel puffy and my body feels old and tired. Slowly my eyes begin to close, and the world turns black…

Here I stand at the edge of a cliff, with the wind blowing all around me, and the waves angrily breaking on the rocks below. I feel so overwhelmed by this unknown emotion, and my eyes soon fill with hundreds of tiny droplets…

As the sky turns a dark shade of blue-black, the wind begins to blow vigorously… I can feel the wind nudging me, whispering to me, telling me “jump and it will all be over.” I stand on the ledge, close my eyes and spread my arms as if to fly, when suddenly a huge gust of wind comes up from behind and pushes me off of the ledge… I open my eyes and realize that I am falling! The speed at which I am hurtling towards the ocean is tremendous, yet it feels as if I am falling in slow motion. Slowly but surely the ocean is closing in on me, and the rocks are getting closer and closer. I am just about to hit the sharp, jagged rocks when everything around me turns black… “What just happened…?!” I wonder to myself. Strange as it may seem, I am still falling at a rate of knots, and I cannot see an end to this darkness through which I fall

It feels as though I am being shaken, even as I fall. At first the shaking is quite gentle, but soon it becomes violent and vigorous… Suddenly I open my eyes, I’m still on the floor where I collapsed earlier, and oh no… it’s him, he’s here, he is the reason I am shaking so violently… My body is now aching. Why must this happen to me?! Soon I am again completely consumed by numbness, my only true friend… Slowly the world begins to turns black around me once more..

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She reaches for
Her trusty pen
Oh words, dear words
Bring forth poem's end

Of love, of loss
These all be true
But please I beg
Bring them clear through

My mind is twisted, clouded
Confused
My God
I ask

For you to choose
Words that "speak"
More than define
Words that "say"
As much as rhyme

Bring forth that mystic
Muse of devotion
Bring forth true
My heart's emotion

So that these words may
Be released
From my soul
Into poetic breeze

And if perhaps
They touch but one
Then I shall know
Thy Will be done.

~Lil Wing~

Added this footnote ... I want to add that I am writer., maybe a wannabee writer but nevertheless have been keepin notes, journals since high school. Most that I have shared is not about anyone but my own feelings and thoughts on life's experiences.. Some is from past notes that written and few is unfinished and when a certain occasion arises and reminded me to write a letter like or story and helps me to let go and close that part of dark chapters . Writings that I can only really express myself in order too keep my insane thoughts from progressing and release those unhealthly feelings instead of running too quit fixes of self destruction mobile aye lol. It is really a tool to help repair some holes in your heart and soul and release those negs vibes and fill it up with positive spirits and learn from it and to let go. Everyone, is different but all same meaning as writers to write down and you can visionalize where you been what you done about it and where you go from there, am I write or right aye lol, please feel free to give me some feedback oki? Don't be afraid for I won't bite unlesssss, im kidding. Oki so last thing I like to say is I respect all writers and when you can read in between lines and reply back wow we are doing oki. God Bless us and you...Mare

Updates to playlist: Native tattoos & Misc.

Lil Wing "Mia" — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:39:04 -0000

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Tibits & Thoughts......Mine!

Lil Wing "Mia" — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:41:33 -0000

In my travels across the digital landscape we've come to know, love and be addicted to known as the internet I've come across a few people who have also realized the cleansing properties of the so-called "life list." What people don't seem to know about, however is the existence of other forms of life lists that are just as good at self discovery. In addition to the life list where you write down things you simply want to do before you die there is the following, to name only three...

•The Amends List

•The "What's Wrong With My Life" List

•The "Who I've Harmed" List

Let's take a look at each of them.

The Amends List

Have you ever seen the show "My Name Is Earl?" If you haven't it's about a man who was not living the best life. After winning $100,000.00 from a lottery scratch off ticket he is hit by a car. After some reflection he realizes that "karma" is telling him that if he does good things for people good things will happen to him. He decides to make a list of all the people he has harmed and make amends to them.

The idea of an amends list is not a new one. It has been a necessity of 12 step groups since the 1930's and before that it was a staple of the "Oxford Groups."

By writing down a list of all the things you've done wrong to others (and to yourself,) and taking steps to make it up to those you've offended, you begin to learn that you are not evil. You are not bad. You've done bad and evil things, sure but by making amends, you learn to not identify with your misdeeds and furthermore, you learn not to make those same mistakes again.

The "Who I've Harmed" List

Of course, unless you know who you've harmed, you can't make amends to them. By writing down a list of people you've harmed (once again, yourself included), you can then write a list of what you've done to them.

The "What's Wrong With My Life" List

Doing this list feels like a soul cleansing. The idea comes from Bill Fergusons Mastery Of Life website. What you do is write down everything you have wrong in your life right now and take steps to fix them. It doesn't matter how big or how small. Got a nail in your wall that's driving you crazy? Write that down on the list. Been in a hit and run accident that was your fault? Write that down too. Then get to work fixing the things in your list.

Imagine how you'll feel if you complete twenty five percent of your list. How about 50%? 75%? The more you complete the better you'll feel.

And of course the "Stuff You Wanna Do Before You Die" List.

I won't go into this one since I haven't started and complete my list.

By doing any one of these lists, you will see a change in your life without even realizing it. Sure some of it's hard. If you have trouble, start with the small stuff first. That'll make it easier to get done with. And when you complete an item, celebrate! You deserve it!

Will dew wish list for now hehe guess I am just putting off my list to dew things list and note that some of these wishes are real and few not so becos it be impossible to meet with me aye lol now is that funny or not aye.

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1. Travel trip around the world

2. Be star in movies (hahaha)

3. Be Queen of some hot erotic tropical island. (chaaa)

4. Win the mega million Lottery

5. Have own chaffeuer or driver

6. See Disneyland

7. Build me Greenhouse to grow most anything I want

8. Build a loghouse cabin is the only way to live aye

9. Get married and raise lil ones

10.Visit every one of my relative in where ever they may be at in the world.

11. Make me a dreamcatcher with feathers and red stone

12.Sing in front of karaoke crowd without laughing at loud

13. Bungee Jumping

14. Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef.

15. Go sailing

16. Complete my manual for submission or write novel maybe semi-bio one.

17. Meet my hero or heroes for got couple lol

18. Take a course in computer science

19. Go and finish Schooling, edacustion (haha education kidding imma) etc.

20. Better hearing and eyesight

21. Sing a indian song and record it

22. Eat sushi?

23. try chocolate grasshoppers aye

24. Read war and peace again

25. Wish united and peace for all people of the World

26. Fly me to the Moon

27. Think first then react (usually I dew other first aw)

28. Buy me Nikon to replace my father's gift for my graduation and take lots photos.

29. Build my own studio

30. Take tutor lessons on math subject cos its my weak crappiest subject ever aye lol

31. Learn to speak foreign language

32. Shower in the waterfall.

33. Drive across america coast to coast.

34. Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in the country.

35. Raft through the Grand Canyon.

36. Go up in a hot-air balloon.

37. Create my own web site.

38. Overcome my fear of failure.

39. Donate money and put my name on something: a college scholarship, a bench in the park.

40. Plant a tree.

41. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.

42. Reflect on my greatest weakness, and realize how it is my greatest strength.

43. Learn how to complain effectively -- and do it! oops lol yup

44. is all I got so far awww so will continue to either add on here or nother blog, but too lazy might be so add here aye.

Tell me, what couple things you like to dew, this author is curios as kitty aye..ty for your view and thats all for now folks as wascal wabbit woot say aye lmao. Hugs n snugs.xo Lil Wing M

Lil Wings Blue Moon Mushroom Blooms

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 09:48:44 -0000

Lil Wings Blue Moon Mushroom Blooms