maureen monlore santiago

Updates to playlist: ethnologic!!

maureen monlore santiago — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 09:25:30 -0000

Updates to playlist: nothing usual

maureen monlore santiago — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 00:17:33 -0000

i have to get out of this place!!!

maureen monlore santiago — Thu, 22 May 2008 03:21:25 -0000

I AM NOT GONG TO WASTE MY LIFE IN THIS BORING LITTLE TOWN WHO OFFERS ME A WHOLE LIFE OF BLEAK AND SENSELESS EXISTENCE!!!

i am not going to waste my breath breathing the incapacity of the people around me to dream big!!! and most especially i am not going to waste my precious time with the dinky tactics and mind sets of the people who pulls me down!!! i have a dream...a goal...an advocacy!!! and before i accomplish those things, i have to get out of this mother fuckin' lame town!!! i just have to get outta here!!! i just have to...

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF THE MEDIOCRITY!!! i am so tired of being pushed around and being told of what is best for me...FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! THIS IS MY MOTHER FUCKIN' LIFE YOUR TALKING ABOUT HERE!!! its my life so just please piss off!!!

i am tired of you suffocating me with your lies, deceit and with your freakin' incapabilities to connect the dots that this is not what living is...that the life you live and the life you are letting me live is just a huge damnable LIE!!! i mean... what is up with all the cheating???...FUCK!!! yeah!!! that's right...you are all fucks!!! a couple of shitty moronic bastards who never cared on the mother fuckin' throbbing feelings of others!!!

are you really stupid enough not to see that people are already hurting???...SHIT!!! are you really blind or numb enough not to sense or feel what the truh says???... the freakin' hurtful truth???... you are all a couple dimwitted fuckers of the society!!! FOR GOD'S SAKES... CHANGE ALREADY!!!

is it so hard to change???...is it so hard to turn around and be respectful people...NOW YOUR ASKING ME, WHY DO I NOT RESPECT YOU???why dont you ask that to your freakin' shit filled crappy selves???... you are all a bunch of leeches who suck the energy, joy, ans hope of people!!!
you will never gain my respect if you will not show respect to me...to other people...and to your withered selves!!!

I AM SO PISSED OFF!!! I JUST HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS SUCKY LITTLE TOWN..ANYWHERE BUT HERE!!! i just want some time to think...to feel...to realize who i am, what i wnat to do, and what i MUST DO!!! why do i have to think for who i really am???...well, its because of those who sucked all the sense in me...the ones who sucked who i am..those who pushed me to be the one i am not!!! those who locked me up in this berserk little lie!!!

i want to cry!!! i want to shed loads of tears...i want to freakin' scream out loud!!! but with all this toxic and garbage...i just cant..you see me all smiling..but inside my body crumbles!!!i am bleeding the blood of disappointment and i am pierced with the thorns of a broken identity!!!!!!...
i am so freakin' pissed off!!! DAMN THEM!!! damn them all!!!

if our reading this...i apologize for the mean and cruel words...but i just have to let this things out in the open..i cannot let myself fall in the hole of the numbness...i just cant let them waste my life like this!!! one day i am going to step out of this cage and KILL THE MEDIOCRITY OUT OF THOSE MOTHER FUCKIN' BASTARDS who oppressed the society and its small people!!!

NOW I FEEL BETTER!!! MUCH MUCH BETTER...but i say this... its not yet over...i am pretty sure that i will be writing more roars of anger and rage in here...because i know that the oppression wont stop!!! and i will never stop until i am free and worthy of myself again!!!

state of art- linkin park n dj lethal

There's no way to find out what's inside you
Until you fall into the hole
You dug for yourself while you slept here
Too young, too selfish, too cold
And when you find out what's been waiting
The moment you open your eyes
You'll see your true reflection
The very first time in your life

You cannot fight what's in you
This will not be denied
You cannot fight what's in you
This will not be denied

Cry to yourself
Nothing will help
It's too late to change what's been done
You do what you've always done best
You run

Into the hole you fall deeper
Deeper the faster you run
It won't stop until you've accepted
Accept everything that you've done

You cannot fight what's in you
This will not be denied
You cannot fight what's in you
This will not be denied

Cry to yourself
Nothing will help
It's too late to change what's been done
You do what you've always done best
You run

leinads! this story is a random result of inert of boredom!!!

maureen monlore santiago — Tue, 20 May 2008 04:24:43 -0000

KEY WORDS!

LEINADS- job title of a small world creator from the realm Aerdna and Igarishca.

EROLNOM-(lead) The male character of the story. He fell deeply in-love with Leahskim.

LEAHSKIM-(lead) The lead female character of the story. She fell deeply in-love with Erolnom.

RETSHEC- A job title for a fortune teller in the realms of Aerdna and Igarishca.

KING EKIM- the power of Aerdna and Igarishca. King of Aerdna, realm of Leahskim.

RIYEKA- The riddle solver. An old woman who told Leahskim what she should do with the prophecy given by the retshec.

Back in the days where time is not present, in times where magic and wizardry roam the lands, in the older times where you can’t even imagine the extraordinary things that happen…in the land of the lands where there lived a Leinad who loved to create little words…worlds far more smaller than their world. A Leinad who is tall and slender, who has long brown hair that flows through the heavens, she have eyes that sparkles like the morning sun, skin so soft like clouds with the radiance of pearls in the ocean…a Leinad named Leahskim. Leahskim’s role in their realm of Aerdna was to create far smaller worlds to give life to far smaller creatures, and also to make them feel how feelings are. All her creations were great and legendary, but she wanted to create a world that is unique, a world that is perfect, and a world that is her own…and so she tried. She extracted the most expensive oils, gathered the most extravagant potions, carved the rarest gems and stones, but she failed to create the dream land she always wanted…and then she tried once more…unfortunately with all her strives to create a perfect world, she had shaped worlds filled with greed, chaos and misery… where as if the world she always dreamed of did not had a chance to exist…she had failed to do so.

That is why Leahskim came to a very powerful retshec. She asked him what she could do to finally create the lovely world… and then the retshec said: “Erolnom”, then she asked why and what is this Erolnom the retshec speaks of and then he replied:

“In time you’ll know,
In time you’ll see,
To reveal the secrets you must plea,
You must ask to cry a river,
You must ask for diamond tears,
You must ask for darkness clear,
You must ask to love you dear”

With the confused mind and eager heart of Leahskim, she still waited for the perfect opportunity to create the world of her own. After the encounter with the retshec, the yearning for the key grew, and after a while she lost hope and tried to forget about the retshec’s prophecy. Until, Ekim, King of Aerdna called Leahskim to meet the leinad of Igarishca so that they could create a world for the king’s daughters. By the time both saw each other , by the moment they laid eyes on each other, sparks flew, clouds cleared, and both their hearts throbbed because of a very powerful feeling that roamed every realm, every world, and every creature…love.

As the time passed by, both felt a feeling of comfort with each other but still Leahskim never had the chance of knowing or even asking the name of the Igarishcan leinad because she was too busy aspiring for his love. But as far as Leahskim know, the name…his name is one of the most long awaited secrets and keys in her life, and the world of others.
And then the leinad once spoke:
“Do you know what my name is?”
“Do you know who I am?”
“Would you like to know the name behind the bliss?”
“Do you know who I am?”

Then the Igarishcan leinad’s next words were:
“My name is Erolnom… I am Erolnom”
The Iragishcan leinad, Erolnom didn’t had any idea how long she is been waiting for that very name…of how long she is been waiting to finally have the key…and now she does. The moment those words came out of the peaceful lips of Erolnom, Leahskim’s world whirled and stopped.

”My world…My perfect world”
“Erolnom…you truly exist”
”My world…My perfect world”
“Erolnom…you do exist”

With the exceptional moments given to them, their feelings grew deeper, until they grew inseparable, but the great dream of Leahskim of having her perfect world did not vanish at all, because it only intensified. Leahskim’s ignorance and yearning for the paradise led her to see Riyeka, a wise woman who knows every solution, who knows every key to each riddle present in the realm of Aerdna. She consulted what the retshec told her before:
“He told me, he once said.”
“In time I’ll know, in time I’ll see,”
“When is the time? What will I see?”

Riyeka replied:
“This is the time, this time you’ll see.”
“Have a little patience.”
“Erolnom’s the key.”

Leahskim replied:
“If he’s the key…what must I do?”
“How should I plea? What must he do?”
“The retshec said, That I must ask to cry a river,”
“That I must ask for diamond tears,”
“That I must ask for darkness clear,”
“That I must ask to love me dear.”

Then Riyeka said:
“If you love him, and he loves you
“To create the world, this is what to do”
“Ask him that if you’d break his heart would he cry a you river?”
“Ask him that if you’d break his heart, would he cry you diamond tears?”
“Ask him that if you’d break his, would he create darkness clear?
“Ask him that if you love him, would he love you dear?”

After Leahskim’s encounter with Riyeka, she immediately acted the prophecy out. She is sure that she loves him…and that he loves her, and that’s why she would like to create the perfect world for the two of them. She would like to create the world not just for her own, but for the blazing passion and love between Erolnom and her.

One blissful day, Leahskim asked:
“Erolnom…Erolnom”
“If I break your heart,
“Will you cry me a river?”
“So we’ll never be apart?”

Quickly Erolnom replied
“Why yes…yes my lady”
“I’ll cry you hundred rivers”
“And let those tears kill misery”

A few days later, Leahskim had planned a perfect plot to break Erolnom’s passionate little heart. She hired a man, a handsome man with long curly hair, to kiss her in front of Erolnom, so that the Igarishcan leinad will feel extreme jealousy, so that his passionate little heart will shatter into pieces and for Leahskim to have her perfect world. Erolnom cried and cried until there were no more tears… until a hundred rivers had occupied the world Leahskim wanted. But still the paradise is not yet complete, so Leahskim planned another perfect plot to break Erolnom’s passionate little heart. She once again hired a man, a young and a courageous man to kiss her and let Erolnom see the awful thing. And so, Erolnom’s sadness made him so miserable that jealousy formed a rock in his heart which he pulled out with his bare hands. That very rock became the light in the darkness. That rock became the radiant and beautiful light in the shadows of the world that Leahskim always wanted. But still the paradise was still unfinished, and so, Leahskim planned a perfect plot to break Erolnom’s passionate little heart. She pretended that someone killed her and acted as if she was dead by a deep stab in the chest. Erolnom’s love for Laehskim and extreme pain and agony in his throbbing heart made him cry a million of sparkling diamond tears which became the bright and breathtaking blanket that shines in the dark lonesome nights of Leahskim’s perfect paradise. All the love and pain exerted by Erolnom through the hard moments were the very keys to unlock the closed doors of her paradise…. But as soon as Leahskim found out that the paradise she wanted…that the world she longed for was already at the verge of fulfilment she immediately rushed to Erolnom so that she may heal his bleeding heart and comfort the questions left unanswered. Leahskim finally revealed her secrets of having hidden desires about a world of her own, and having hidden agendas against Erolnom’s love, but ended up hurting the man she loved most. But with too much love for Leahskim, Erolnom forgave her and fully understood what she did and why she did those horrible things.

Leahskim’s plans are not over yet… for she wanted both of them to live in the paradise which proved the love that blossomed between the two of them. She wanted to live in the world where their love was free to move. But it was a very difficult thing to do, because a leinad could not just leave behind the responsibilities of being a leinad on their cosmic realms….in order to have what Leahskim wants, certain sacrifices must be made.

Leahskim asked Erolnom:
“Erolnom… Erolnom”
“Would you like to live in the world your blazing passion created?”
“To live in the world where our love is never gated?”

Erolnom replied:
“Why yes…Yes my lady”
“I may live in the world”
“Where your love I truly see.”

And so Leahskim rushed to the most powerful individual in all the realms, Ekim, King of Aerdna. She came to asked him…to beg him for his power to create a path so that they may live in the world created by Erolnom’s grief and passion.

Ekim said:
“Leahskim, leinad of Aerdna,”
“Is that what you truly want?”
“What you truly want?”

Leahskim quickly and no doubtedly replied yes… that it is precisely what she wanted.

Ekim once again spoke:
”For you to live in the world of love”
“You must promise the power above”
“That if he breaks your heart, before leaving this realm”
“You must die in the hands of grim”

“We must seal this contract you agreed”
“By kissing my lips and signing this deed”
“You must be sure, he won’t break your heart”
“Because if he did…souls will part”

Leahskim’s true love for Erolnom made her agree to the deed of Ekim. She laid her luscious red lips upon his so that the contract will be sealed. Leahskim, promised Ekim, the higher power of Aerdna, to surrender her life if she gets her devoted heart broken by the only man she ever loved. But as far as they both know, Erolnom accidentally saw them while he was about to talk to Ekim about the world his grief created. Erolnom’s jealousy moved so fast that he never had the chance to think his actions trough. His bruising heart made him plan a perfect plot to shatter his beautiful maiden’s heart. He thought that if Leahskim got jealous or if she endured tremendous pain like he did before, then it means that Leahskim faithfully and truthfully loves him. After the chaotic twist of fate, he hired a woman, a young beautiful woman, with curly long hair to kiss him and let Leahskim see the whole painful thing.

A day after Leahskim’s negotiations with the king of Aerdna, she went to to see Erolnom to tell him the great news… but to her surprise, she saw her one true love kissing another woman. And with the tremendous anguish she felt… with the severe jealousy she felt, that it made her so silent and outraged that she just left that tainted place. She never had the chance to let Erolnom see what she felt like… with the atrocity at hand, Leahskin headed home crying as if she was crying for all the sorrows in the universe. She cried a thousand rivers, and billions of sparkling diamond tears… the contract she made with Ekim came into an unexpected ending. She had sacrificed her life for the love she felt.

Her throbbing heart had finally stopped beating, but still she can think, she still breaths and speaks about the cruelty of the whole incident. Her blood rushes out of her body as if it was pouring out of a fountain. Even if her shattered heart had stopped beating, she can still feel the pain caused by the heartache. Even if all her blood had seemingly bathe her whole body, her skin still stayed as lovely and as silky as before as if she was waiting for someone to have one last glance of her magnificent beauty.

Erolnom felt that as if Leahskim was not even jealous about what she saw, so he rushed to king Ekim where he found out about the misconception… where he found out that he is the cause of the radical torture and suffering of his exquisite maiden. Immediately after he discovered how cruel he became, Erolnom without delay rushed to see Leahskim. As he opened the golden door of her clouded and marbled room, he saw his one true love lying on the floor, drenched in her own blood. By the moment she saw Erolnom’s heavenly face, glistening eyes, and exquisite gentleness, she spoke while catching every breath

She said:
“Your sensual three words had lit me to bear”
“To bear the dust that ruined my eyes”
“To bear the cold and the gloom covered skies”
“To bear the blaze that burnt my whole heart”
“And to bear the scarlets that torn us apart.”

“I know marionettes will never be alive”
“But sometimes I wish beats were never deprived”
“It’s just that, my insides are shivering in pain”
“That it caused me to be so romantically insane.”

Her eyes sparkles with sorrow, her lips were burnt by spite and malice, her heart crumbled because of the undesirable perils, and until her very last breath she told him what she felt and whispered that she loves him so dearly. Erolnom couldn’t do anything but just to say that he felt so much affection for Leahskim, to look at her exceptional eyes, and kiss her blood drenched lips as he once again cried a thousand rivers, and a billion sparkling diamond tears. After he cried all his tears, and couldn’t cry no more… Erolnom could not look for another way to let out the sorrow and agony he feels over loosing his once so vibrant lady… he wanted to stop the massive throbbing of his heart over their corrupted story, so he once again planned a perfect plot to once and for all break his passionate little heart... however it is not to only break his heart emotionally, because it already had experienced its highest peak of torture…it was to finally stop the suffering he feels…to finally stop his passionate, and burning heart from bleeding, and heartaches, and so, he severed his own porcelain like skin apart to let the blood rush out.
With his last breath he said:
“Leahskim…my lady…my lady”
“I was driven by jealousy”
“My lady...my lady…I am truly sorry”
“Leahskim…Leahskim…my lady”
“My one and only mistake was”
“I just love you ever so dearly”

After his very last words…one last tear had fell from his miserable eyes… a sparkling onyx teardrop…a teardrop that flowed and combined to the other tears and blood which poured out of their bodies. Those painful tears flowed to her blood and poured unto the world she once wanted, the world she once dreamed of creating, where his tears and her blood poured unto the dream paradise which she thought to be so perfect, the world she thought was her own, a world created for the love of the two great leinads of all the universe. But the sacrificed life of Leahskim, the blood that flowed out of her bruising heart, the tears that fell from his crying eyes, Erolnom’s condemned blood shed from suicide and the deceit they claimed for true love created a world fit for their chaotic story… had created a world where her blood symbolized the perils of a broken heart… His tears which pictured the pain and atrocity painted on stories of the people’s devious deeds, their deceitful plan for each others wants resembled the greed and misery of every person, the love they claimed to be pure and never-ending reflected as the unacceptable lies that roamed the every corner of the world and the single onyx teardrop that fell from his dying eyes is associated to the smallest amount of good intention found on the deceitful and unacceptable story of the greed for material things, greed for hidden wants, and greed for love… That have roamed the world created by Erolnom’s grief and agony, the world created by Leahskim’s deceit and sacrificed life… the worldly sorrows that roamed our world which was created because of the perils of their shattered hearts. And their shattered hearts which was created by our world.

Updates to playlist: raine!!!

maureen monlore santiago — Sat, 17 May 2008 06:16:35 -0000

i hate tats on people, piercings on people and men who scream a lot...but with him...GOSH! I MELT!!!

Fri, 02 May 2008 02:55:57 -0000

i hate tats on people, piercings on people and men who scream a lot...but with him...GOSH! I MELT!!!

before prom...rock on!!!

Fri, 02 May 2008 02:44:34 -0000

before prom...rock on!!!

no caption

Fri, 02 May 2008 02:42:45 -0000

ate raine...and mau

Fri, 02 May 2008 02:41:18 -0000

ate raine...and mau

turn aroud...

Fri, 02 May 2008 02:33:40 -0000

turn aroud...