◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora)'s blog on imeem

Looking for a home...

◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:24:13 -0000

I have less than 6 days to my court date (from the K-Mart incident on my birthday)...I need an adult to take me.My mom is taking me...but she's againts me.No matter what the court decides on my punishment,my mom wants to put me in foster care...because she doesnt want to deal with me anymore.There IS a chance that the courts wont allow it (if I appear to be remourseful)...but I need to find someone to live with because she hates the fact I'm too rebellious,too disrespectful,and too reckless.

If there's anyone of my friends that wouldnt mind me living with them until i'm 18,please leave a comment on this blog,my profile,or send me a message...because this is REALLY important.

IM INSANE pt3:the Winter Spirit of the Damned

◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora) — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 15:06:58 -0000

Alot of people here on "imeem" seem to have enjoyed their Christmas...but did I enjoy mines?
I woke up Christmas Day already discouraged that I didnt get anything except $25 to my name along with my 2 brothers in real life.Nicholas wanted to get "Need For Speed:Undercover" but didnt have enough to purchase it.I was going to chip-in the rest.My mom got out of her room and asked what we were up to.I said I was going to take Nick to a GameStop uptown to buy a game.She got all pissed off and denied me permission of taking him anywhere.She also said that if Jose and Fallen (my imeem brother and twin) were to visit the house again,she'd arrest all 3 of us.So I went online for awhile until she decided to take Nick with her instead.I volunteered to tag along (because I was holding Nick's 25) and she didnt want me to.I put my coat on and she went into her room more pissed and ordered my older brother,Jencie,to get her phone (it was charging in his room).I thought she was going to get me arrested so I snatched the phone out of his hands.She glared at me and gave me to the count of 5 to return the phone and Nick's money.I smirked and replied "...or what?"She lunged foward and grabed both my wrists.I broke free and put the phone in my back pocket.She kicked me and ordered me to give it back...I stood my ground.She threw me on a sofa and still didnt do anything.She pounced on me,I kicked her off.She tried again,I rolled out of the way.She went into her pocket for a quarter to give to Jencie for a pay-phone to call my uncle.I swooped in and pushed them apart.Although she landed againts a sofa spine first,she droped the quarter in the process.My bro used the distraction and ran off with it...

15min pass,my uncle arrived.My mom only said I hit her and he went for my throat saying "THE FUCK'S YOUR PROBLEM,THAT'S YOUR MOTHER!"I was forced back into the living room and I explained some of the situation...wasnt able to finish because I was stricken a little more.My mom was going to call 911...but instead called my grandmother and my father.She didnt want me in the house that day,but didnt want me in jail bacause of the holidays.So me,her and my uncle were discussing what am I going to end up doing with my life...and I couldnt respond.My mom suggested I live with a friend...and thats all I can do...so I packed up some essentials...

10 more minutes pass,I hear a knock on the door from my room.I look out the window and saw my dad's car parked outside.He walked into my room and pinned me againts my dresser also screaming what my problem was.He said that I had no business hitting my mom...I pointed out that he beaten her when they were still together...it kept him quiet for a few seconds then he just told me to come back to the living room to apologize.I stood in the center of them all...just staring at the wall in front of me...listening to what they had to say.They were ranting about me about the situation...saying I SHOULD be locked up.They were bringing up old stories of federal issues they had themselves...almost all of wich were my dad's.He then found out that I cut school alot and decided to visit it more frequently.THEN he found out I cut myself.Now he said I should be put in an asylum instead.After more ranting it came to a decision...I was NOT to hang out with Jose and Fallen anymore...I was to go to school (or else)...and I WILL be locked up for anything else I do.My dad suggested I spend some time out with him...to get some air and clear my head.

I was in the car,driven around 40-something blocks.My dad was trying to find out why I am the way I am.He told me when he was in college,he minored in pshychiatry.He wrote a 100-page report on teenage suicide,so he knew EXACTLY how to get it out of me.It was hard telling him how I felt.He just told me to keep going to therapy and to ignore mom when she's starting problems with me.

Im left with so many questions...
-Should I REALLY abandon my true friends?
-What am I going to do with my life?
-How am I going to deal with the problems I had since I was 11-
-If I died last sunday,would this be a merry christmas after all?

So many problems...no solution......

IM INSANE:Part2-out of jail,in to deeper shit

◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 19:19:51 -0000

If you read my previous blog then you know i just came out of jail...but that wasnt the whole day and the next day gets worse......

On 11/25/08 at 8:35pm,I was in my friends Jose's house to explain to his mom and her boyfriend what was going on.All we could say was "we got arrested."I called my mom and I immediatley walked home.Along the way,I was getting dizzy from the energy lost at the pricent.But I can feel my remaining energy boiling up.I snapped and became a human with rage beyond comprehension.I slamed the door close and screamed out the situation.My brother,Jencie walked in and I said "if you say one word,I'll fucking kill you."He got scared and ran to his room.Mom stoped me from walking and said i wasnt allowed in his room,wich had internet accsess (wich explains why all my replies were late).She said "...well happy birthday to you" and my response was "FUCK YOU" because at the time,i didnt want to hear the word happy.I stared at her with my enraged teary eyes as i threw my court order at her.She sent me to my room along with my meds and the one thing that revived my sanity...an envelope from Ashley Nickel,a 21-year-old girl from LaVernge,Tenesee who was in love with me since 07/28.I stared at it...and looked into my eyes in the mirror.I saw the monster that i became and felt bad about doing it.I picked up a sharpener blade,the very blade that almost put me in a mental institue in September and cut open the envelope.It contained a birthday card with a personal message on how she felt about me.I looked at my arm where i carved Tiffany's name and then looked at the blade in my fingertips...and I snaped again,but instead of one of rage,i became a pshychopath.My mom sent me to the kitchen so I can eat...but my blade was hungry,not me.I began cutting myself in ways i never did before as my blood splattered on a wall.I asked Jencie if the blood i shed would make up for the disgrace i've become.He was speechless because all he saw was both my forearms covered in blood.I asked the same question to my mother,she looked at me and said "oh great...you cut yourself.with what,a knife?*looked at the blade*Oh your little blade,huh?"I asked her if this made her feel any better and she blankly replied "no".When she left for work,my meds kicked in and i fell asleep as a pshycho.

I woke up thinking it was all a dream,but i look at my arms and realized all that i did.I was normal again.Jose and his mom were on their way to drop off 2 of his younger siblings,they all droped by the house first.As he knocked on the door,I was worried about his reaction (bacause he was the one who reported me in September),so I opened the appartment door with my arms behind my back.He asked what happened while his brother and sister were behind me and gasped.He asked what was wrong with them...and i raised my arms toward him and he screamed.His mom was concerned and walked up to my floor and saw my arms too.She asked why I did it and i explained what happened.They came inside the house accompanied by Jencie as I got dressed.After me,Jose,and his mom droped off the kids,we walked to a PathMark I got banned from.We reviewed the situation and was preparing our defense.Aside from us being late to school,it was a normal day for us.After I was done with my classes,Jose told me to meet him in front of the GameStop in the area,but I never did....why?Ima tell you now.My dean asked me how was I and my response was "not good."He walked me into his office and I said every little detail on yesterday's events.He was concerned and sent me home while warning me he'll tell someone.5 minutes passed,I was talking to a few skaters outside the school and the assistsant principal pulled me back inside and into the dean's office.I said what happened and he called the cops and emergency services.The officer frisked me and searched my bag and wallet...they found my blade (stained in blood).I was taken into an ambulance and ended up in THE SAME pshychiatric room I was in 2 months ago.One of the doctors noticed me and laughed because Im back for the same reason.My family picked me up and went home...but it doesnt stop there.

In front of my appartment door,we found a letter from the Accosiation of Child Services (ACS).We were shocked.ACS mustve took what I said the wrong way thinking i have literally no food at home and decided to pay us a visit.Good thing we werent home.But now,we're busting our asses trying to fix the house...or else me and Nick get taken to foster care and my mom gets arrested.

Im not sure what will happen...but I dont want this to be my final message to all my friends here...and the one girl who never gave away my heart yet......

Worst Birthday EVER!!!

◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 18:14:04 -0000

Fuck The Police - Rage Against The Machine

Me and my friend,Jose,decided to cut school to go on a "shopping spree" for my birthday,seeing that we had little food in our houses.We went to the middle of the Bronx to 4 markets and took a can,3 packs of cookies,and some gronola/cereal bars (wich kept our strength up).We left Grand Concourse to visit Yankee Stadium,because its going under de-construction.Then we rode to Parkchester and take some Juices from another market.We were still looking for food so we decided to hit the biggest store we ever did...a K-Mart in Brunckner Plaza...

Jose took 3 boxes of food and I took one.I got rid of the barcode for mines b/c they had sensors;put the box in Jose's bookbag.Just when Jose was dumping the stuff out of one of his boxes into my bookbag in a "blind spot",we got caught by an employee.She took the food out of my bag only and kicked us out of the store.Before she did,we saw a map they set up displaying ALL the blind spots on both floors.We we're strolling up the parking lot until we were stoped by 3 gaurds (i think).One of them kept asking Jose "where's my chips?"He then grabbed him by his bag and looked through it and found the box of snackage I put there.They grabed us both by our necks and shoved us into the security room.They searched our bags and found the cookies i had from 167th ST in my bag and my Juice in Jose's bag.They also frisked us.They called the police and we were in handcuffs (wich werent as uncomfortable as i thought it'd be).One of the guards came back with a price checked recipt on our loot...wich turned out to be -$8.The guards,cops,and even us were laughing at its stupidity.They took me and my buddy to the car and took us to the 43rd pricent.

At the lobby,they took down our information and took us to the male cell.Although we were still minors (me 17 and Jose 16),we werent juveniles,so they put us with the adults.We were now brothers.As we stood there in the cell,we looked at 10 guys who looked about 30-60 years old.They wondered why we were there.We didnt know their names,but we started to bond with them a bit.They gave us life lessons and exchanged stories of their previous felonies with each other(we payed attention).One guy got arrested for having a suspended liscence and 2 bench warrants;the messed up part was that he wasnt driving and they planted some wierd drug named OxyCotton (or something) and added that as a charge.Half the guys there were arrested for "tresspassing" in THEIR OWN neighborhood.One guy's arresting officer was a smexy woman with pink handcuffs;when we heard that,one guy said "oooooh,kinky" and we all bursted in laughter.After three hours there,my arresting officer took our hand/fingerprints and mugshots (mines looked pretty cool).After he was done,he said he would file and submit our paperwork to Albany in 10 minutes...it really took about 100.Within that time,we were exsposed to the curruption of our law enforcement;we all called the NYPD "the biggest gang in America."Around 8pm,my arresting officer finally released me and Jose and gave us our court orders.I found 2 packs of gum in my coat pocket and gave one to the inmates.Jose walked to his house and i tagged along so i can call my mom (we were both denied our one call right).As we walked,we were pissed off because we got arrested with $4 of food and all we can say is:
FUCK THE POLICE!

a message to my true love

◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:31:52 -0000

I Died For You - Iced Earth

when i first this song...i thought of you.
i never thought i could love anyone more than you.im only happy when im with you.every moment im awake i think of you,and i always dream of you too.you're so close to me,and yet so far.ive been with you for 4 months now,but i never looked into your living eyes.all this time i just wanted to hold you close to me,never letting go.i wanted to feel your lips upon mine.i wanted to tell you how much i love you and how much you mean to me,without having to wait for a comment on my profile o r calling you.
because of you,i was able to love again.because of you,i was able to be open with myself without rejection.because of you...i want to live.
i lived a life of sorrow...but im only happy when you are with me...if only you were near me,i wouldnt feel that im losing you.i look and turn to every happy couple in school and wished that was us.i gave you my life to be with you,and i hope you dont let me go now,becsuse i...will love you........forever

IM INSANE!

◇Gameking64,the GE arch-angel of Retribution (Christopher Samora) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 02:54:44 -0000

I'm not joking around.
Im forced to go to therapy...or else I WILL be in an asylum for life.....

i will go,and i hope no one around here treats me any different.