deusdiabolus' blog on imeem

Don't Laugh You're Next

deusdiabolus — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 08:43:41 -0000

It feels as if everything has been done already. No matter what idea or concept you come up with, someone else has already thought of it and/or done it...and to add insult to injury, they have probably done a better job than you. Consider that the key to being a successful independent businessperson is to offer the general public something they will want but have never had before. The desire and need to come up with something original is overwhelming, frustrating, and often depressing.

Meanwhile, the outside world is knocking at your front door and demanding your participation and contribution. If they don't want your money, they want you to join or conform to some ideal. If they can't get your participation, then they hate you and vilify you to their acquaintances. You can't sleep, your diet is horrible, and your family considers you a failure.

Ironically, our society at large tells us that suicide is a bad thing, because life is special, and magical, and precious. They tell us this while advocating the death penalty and allowing the economic gap between classes to increase. They tell us this while wishing people in foreign countries would just kill each other and hoping that the person who almost dented their SUV would die of cancer. The United States is trillions of dollars in debt and past the point of no economic return...but it's your house that the creditors want.

This is your life, if not now, then soon. And you will inevitably end it alone.

not bored

deusdiabolus — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 22:49:01 -0000

I used to say "I'm bored" a lot. But the thing is, once I really thought about it, it wasn't that I was bored, it was that I wasn't really interested in whatever there was to do. And once I started focusing on what there was to do instead of defaulting to the reflex of saying how bored I was, I could usually find something to occupy me long enough for something else interesting to happen.

We have a lot of reflex actions that we develop in the course of living. Sometimes they're good ones and sometimes they're not. The trick is to consciously pick out the bad ones and then dissect them to figure out the cause and the cure.

queries

deusdiabolus — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 04:26:17 -0000

Do you know where you're going to be 1 year from now? Does it make you happy? When you wake up in the morning, do you look forward to your day or do you dread putting up with a bunch of garbage? Can you get through your day without smoking? Without drinking? Without saying or doing something stupid?

When you eat, is it something healthy or something quick? Do you take your time eating it or do you wolf it down so you can get on with your life? Does it ever give you indigestion later? Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night trying not to choke to death on the bile that made its way up into your sinuses while you slept?

Do you know what you want to do with the rest of your life? Do you have a goal? Did you plan your career out in high school? Have you got it all figured out? Are you sure it's all going to be worth it later? Do you ever feel the need to question what you're doing and what it's really for?

Do you think if you killed yourself, anyone would really care?

inaugural

deusdiabolus — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 18:33:22 -0000

I have always been into music, ever since I was little. It resonated strongly with me when nothing else did. I used to make cassette tapes and do my own little variety shows on them, and sometimes act them out with stuffed animals and 45s for the song "performances". Sometimes it would be a TV show, sometimes a musical, sometimes a music video.

Now I write mostly for my own gratification. It would be nice to do remixes for others...especially if I could earn a living doing it.