Spaced's blog on imeem

Simon Says... (from Edgar's Blog)

girl afraid — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:53:33 -0000

Simon Says...

In response to the apparent posting on DEADLINE HOLLYWOOD from one of the McSpaced producers, I give you this, from my good friend and fellow alleged spouter of "bullshit", Simon Pegg.

Reprinted from Peggster.net

"Simon Pegg wrote:

I had hoped I would only have to do this once. Despite, feeling extremely disgruntled by the whole affair, I never wanted the issue of the Spaced remake to turn into a public slanging match. I intended my original statement to be a definitive outline of my position on the whole thing. I have hardly mentioned it publicly since, with the exception of a few interviews during my Run Fat Boy Run press when I was drawn into discussing the subject, most notably on EW.Com. These few occasions are negligible compared to the amount of times I have deflected the issue toward my original comments. The Observer Newspaper in the UK chased me for an interview which I did not give. They ran the article anyway, using passages from my statement, in lieu of exclusive content. However after comments made on Deadline Hollywood by someone who may or may not have been Robert Green from Granada USA, I feel I should respond to the criticism leveled at me personally, as an emitter of "bullshit".

The post insists that we have been repeatedly "reached out" to and have petulantly rebuffed their attempts at communication like spoilt children. For the record these attempts to reach out were only ever made after the announcement in the trades and indeed after production had started on the pilot episode. That we are being blasted for not accepting these attempts at communication so long after the damage had been done is ludicrous. I don't think I can put it better than Sarah, a poster over on the Deadline Hollywood talk back.

"Green's comments are akin to taking a shit on someone's doorstep, then getting all hurt and aggressive because the owner of the house not only complains but also doesn't help clean up the mess."

The incredibly offensive insinuation that those who have expressed their sympathy and concern are cum gargling "idiots" represents extraordinarily misguided aggression by the the poster, whether it be Robert Green or not. The internet, with the establishing of Spaced-Out.org and latterly Peggster.net, Frostitution.net, Edgarwright.co.uk, Jessicahynes.co.uk and others, have been largely responsible for bringing together a huge international community of Spaced fans, many of them in areas where the show isn't even available on domestic DVD. The defensive response to this situation has been amazing. At best it has been hugely empathetic, light hearted and heartfelt, at worst it has engendered unseemly anti-Americanism, from narrow minded people who equate US television with poor quality, inexplicably failing to recognize the sheer historical weight of outstanding American televisual output, which I for one, consume avidly and with a sloppy chin. Despite the latter's unwelcome presence in our corner, the support from you "website idiots" has been extremely touching, to say the least.

Edgar has had a conversation with McG. I have phoned him a few times and to be fair, he has returned my calls, but after missing each other several times and the ball once again in my court, the wind has somewhat disappeared from my sails. I'm not sure what I have to say or indeed what can be said at this stage. The fact is, the Spaced remake went into production without our knowledge and that was upsetting. It is as simple as that. Now we are being criticized by the perpetrators of that upset for expressing regret. Even now, there has been no apology, only excuses.

This issue has only ever been about courtesy, never about money or credit. Also, how can anyone claim that Spaced is something we want left in the past, when we have spent the last few years trying to secure the release of the DVD in North America, Canada and other territories and the last few months compiling new artwork and commentaries to give the release some extra Spaced specialness. Also, despite time and circumstance conspiring against us, we have never categorically ruled out the possibility of more. Tim, Daisy, Mike, Brian, Twist, Marsha and Colin all have destinies locked in mine and Jess's collective grey matter, who's to say they won't some day be played out.

If you've skipped to the end, here's the simple summation. Somebody stamps on your foot then complains when you say 'ouch'? To adopt a little "website idiot" parlance, WTF?

Simon Pegg"

Script Review - US Remake of SPACED

girl afraid — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:04:56 -0000

(Written by Matt Goldberg)

Before I get to the review of the pilot for the US remake of "Spaced", I feel it's important to make a few disclaimers.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a fan of this show getting remade for American audiences. It's not even that US audiences wouldn't "get" it.

It's that it was handled so poorly by those who chose to remake it that such disrespect for the creators is a sign of disrespect for the property, considering it as nothing more than an easy pitch in a creative wasteland. Also, creators Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Jessica Stevenson are all awesome and attention should be paid.

However, I have to review this script with an open mind. I have to at least allow for the possibility that it may be good. As much as I would like to hate it to pieces just on general principle, and I should feel no remorse in being disrespectful to those who disrespected this show, it would be dishonest. It would be fanboyism; by hating it sight unseen, then there can't be an honest discussion or examination of where this remake is headed and how it relates to the original version.

Finally, I can't really say how I got my hands on the script other than I summoned it from the ether along with a bag of Fritos. Also, the script is VERY recent. And yet, it's also very old. Let me explain:

The pilot of the US version of "Spaced" reads almost exactly like the pilot of the British original but not as good. Tim is now Ben, Daisy is now Apryl (the spelling with the 'y' drives me up the fucking wall), and both are looking for an apartment. Ben's been kicked out by his hot Japanese girlfriend Yumi who is cheating on him with his former-friend Clinton (couldn't shorten this to just "Clint"?). Apryl is just trying to find a new place to live so she can stop squatting with stoners. They find a great place but they have to pretend that they're a couple in order to get it.

Everything you've seen in the British original is there in the American version, sometimes word-for-word. There are even attempts to mimic the original down to Wright's direction like when Barr notes jump cuts and sound FX. I can't really tell if Barr has a genuine respect for the series (although Pegg, Stevenson, and Wright are credited as the creators of the original on the cover sheet) or if he's just doing the easiest adaptation possible, making only minor tweaks so it isn't straight-up plagiarism. Think the pilot episode of the American version of "The Office" but without the blessing of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

To Barr's credit, when he does try to use his own words (which isn't as often as I'd like because it means he's essentially getting a paycheck for plagiarism), he comes up with some good jokes. When Ben and Apryl are getting to know each other, we see them reading the classifieds, talking, reading the classifieds, playing air-hockey, reading the classifieds, playing the holographic chess-like game from "Star Wars", reading the classifieds. It's a similar sequence to what was in the original and although Barr hasn't made it his own, but he hasn't embarassed himself either.

Further to his credit, he at least ACKNOWLEDGES the original, which is more than McG and his cohorts have done. When Ben and Apryl meet landlady Marsha (the only character who has the same name as the British-counterpart) for the first time, Marsha says, "Hello. I'm Marsha. You must be Tim and Daisy." Ben replies, "No. Ben and Apryl". Interpret that tiny exchange how you will.

Hewing so close to the original, it's unsurprising that the script doesn't suck. When you watch the Ethan Hawke version of "Hamlet", yeah, it's nowhere near as brilliant as Shakespeare intended it, but it's still "Hamlet". I would say the only cringe-worthy moment was when Apryl holds a clock to her chest and makes a Flavor Flav reference. But I can't really get mad at a script that's so faithful to a brilliant show, at least in name if not in spirit. Some of the scenes have been switched around, a few jokes and lines changed, but for all I know, Barr could have just grabbed the original screenplay for the original series and mixed it around in Final Draft.

But then came page 23.

You see, at page 23, Barr runs out of Original Pilot. So what does he do? He creates a new conflict where Ben and Apryl are having doubts about moving in with each other. Ben's thought-process seems understandable and is familiar to anyone who's about to share their home with someone they don't too well. Apryl, on the other hand, become a neurotic drama-queen who thinks that Ben has gone to murder his ex-girlfriend. It's clearly her imagination getting away from her, but that's good enough to phone up her friend, look up Ben's MySpace page (which does involve a good joke using photos of Ben and an unhappy Samuel L. Jackson), and then the show goes into coincidence-overload as pretty much every character except Marsha meets in a creme-puff store.

After an over-done emotional battle between Ben, Yumi, and Clinton where the new couple shout dime-store psychoanalysis at Ben for a good few pages, Barr does his damnedest to resolve the situation and give Ben back his dignity with a fun action scene where Ben, Apryl, and Bill go into "videogame-mode" and creme-puffs are the ammo. It's a clever sequence ruined by reusing the Flavor Flav joke.

Rewatching the pilot and reading this script, it occurred to me that while "Spaced" is unbelievably clever and witty, it's more than just words. The people involved left a very unique stamp on this and no amount of recycled material gets you a remake that will be just as good.

The sad thing is (or at least, one of many sad things regarding this project) that this script is probably as good as it could get short of having the input of Pegg/Stevenson/Wright and the courage to take the premise and similar characters and move it in an entirely new direction. But this imitation of greatness is just that: an imitation. You can crib all the lines you want from the original but the truth is this: There's only one Simon Pegg. There's only one Jessica Stevenson. There's only one Edgar Wright. And without even so much as their blessing in attempting a remake, there's really only one "Spaced". Barr's script is the key piece of evidence proving that these three people were not just the creators of the show but an essential part of why it worked.

American Spaced? JUST SAY NO!

girl afraid — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:22:42 -0000

Yes, you've heard it right. America is blowing it again by trying to take something and turn it into a slice of friedn gold. Here's Simon Pegg's statement taken from http://www.peggster.net/;

SIMON'S OFFICIAL STATEMENT REGARDING THE US SPACED
UPDATE: At the time of writing I was not aware that Jessica and myself, will in fact receive some payment for the use of our ideas. The issue however remains one of principal and respect rather than one of compensation.

Thoughts on the subject of an American Spaced. Feel free to skip to the end.

Now that the pilot has been officially announced, I thought it might be a good idea to clarify my position on the subject. The whole affair seems to have inspired some spirited debate and some heartening displays of loyalty and love. All this for a show which is almost 10 years old, is all rather wonderful and a vindication of all the blood, sweat and tears (both of joy and pain) we shed in the show's creation. It was always our aim to create a comedy which spoke to its audience on such a personal level, it almost felt one on one. It would seem the fan reaction to the news that Fox has appropriated the format, confirms at least, that we succeeded.

As far as remaking TV shows for different territories is concerned, I don't have a problem. The Office remake being a perfect example. Yes, the original British version is a wonderful and compact piece of comedy writing and performance, but I think it's bit much to expect a large scale American television audience to fully relate to the minutiae of day-to-day business life in an obscure British suburb. I'm sure if you're reading this, you are the type of person who takes pleasure in the variety of entertainment you enjoy, relishing the differences between our various cultural touchstones but there is a massive audience out there, which perhaps isn't as culturally savvy (euphemistic phrase for 'geeky') as we are and need their signifiers to be a little more familiar. So, Slough is replaced by Scranton, and the office archetypes become a little more archetypal to an American audience. The spirit of the show remains intact. The performances are uniformly great and the show scores big ratings and wins EMMYs, whether we as comedy purists prefer the original or not. The success of the remake is born out by it's undoubted success and appeal.

My main problem with the notion of a Spaced remake is the sheer lack of respect that Granada/ Wonderland/Warner Bros have displayed in respectively selling out and appropriating our ideas without even letting us know. A decision I can only presume was made as a way of avoiding having to give us any money, whilst at the same time using mine and Edgar's name in their press release, in order to trade on the success of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, even professing, as Peter Johnson did, to being a big fan of the show and it's creators. A device made all the more heinous by the fact that the press release neglected to mention the show's co-creator and female voice, Jessica Hynes (nee Stevenson). The fact is, when we signed our contracts ten years ago, we had neither the experience or the kudos to demand any clauses securing any control over future reversioning. We signed away our rights to any input in the show's international future, because we just wanted to get the show made and these dark days of legal piracy seemed a far away concern. As a result, we have no rights. The show does not belong to us and, those that do own it have no obligation to include us in any future plans. You would perhaps hope though, out of basic professional respect and courtesy, we might have been consulted. It is this flagrant snub and effective vote of no confidence in the very people that created the show, that has caused such affront at our end. If they don't care about the integrity of the original, why call it Spaced? Why attempt to find some validation by including mine and Edgar's names in the press release as if we were involved? Why not just lift the premise? Two strangers, pretend to be a couple in order to secure residence of a flat/apartment. It's hardly Ibsen. Jess and I specifically jumped off from a very mainstream sitcom premise in order to unravel it so completely. Take it, have it, call it Perfect Strangers and hope Balkie doesn't sue. Just don't call it Spaced.

It's a shame, since the pilot is now a certainty, whether we like it or not, a simple phone call and a few reassurances might have helped to at least curtail the tide of indignation from fans and creators alike. I have, as of yet, heard nothing.

Simon Pegg

HOT FUZZ - OPENING DAY 4/20!!!!!!

girl afraid — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:15:23 -0000

Okay you primitive screwheads, listen up.

Opening day is finally here. And the FUZZ unfurls in some 825 screens today.

I sincerely hope you all get out there and represent. Whether you've seen it before, you're a FUZZ virgin or even one of those very naughty people who would rather watch it on BitTorrent than experience the full majesty of the FUZZ in Dolby 5.1 and on a big ass cinema screen.

So, do get out there and let us know what you think - even if it's your second or third time.

And for some of you less fortunate people whose towns it isn't playing in - be aware. If we do well this weekend and beat the weather and the pot haze, then FUZZ will expand next weekend to even more theatres.

That means either you go see it somewhere or tell a friend / relative / Myspace stalker to go see it.

Also - and this is special - I will personally give big sloppy kisses to the ladies and short sharp handjobs to the guys who actually buy a ticket and post a picture of the stub.

Now that's service you won't get from Michael Bay. (Lee Tamahori maybe).

See you in the theatres.

Arclight Hollywood peeps see you later. There may be special guests and special goodies.

Edgar
x

P.S. As a special opening day treat, I will endeavour to get up to date on my blogs. I need to take tomorrow morning off.

Hotlanta: International House Of Spacecakes

girl afraid — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 00:03:56 -0000

Monday, April 02, 2007

Ahoy,

If it's Tuesday, we must have been Atlanta.

Some three years ago in Georgia, at a CHUD sponsored SHAUN OF THE DEAD screening, a kindly fan offered us a big bag of hash brownies at the signing after the Q&A.

Being the polite British guys we are; we duly ate them. Myself and Nick partook that night and then before catching the flight back to Heathrow, finished the rest.

Let's just say the flight that followed seemed to last for four days. It was quite something.

What would Hotlanta have up it's sleeves this time?

We got in Tuesday night, some 80 minutes before Nick Frost's birthday. In Chicago, Nick was given two birthday cakes and began a experiment to see what they would look like when flushed down the toilet.

The results were spectacular. Blog gold in fact.

Would Hotlanta bring forth more flushing cake based mayhem?

Wednesday saw us doing the rounds of Fuzz press; with fun appearances on WNNX-FM and Good Day Atlanta. We also did a crazy interview at Creative Loafing where they made us play Typing Of The Dead throughout.

Highlight of the morning was a live appearance on 11 Alive, where the three of us followed a segment where a lady doctor talked about Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Nick did a classic by opening our live TV interview with "Why do we have to follow the bum doctor?". It went south after that. Deep south.

The afternoon was equally entertaining with interviews with CHUD honcho Nick Nunziata (my Hotlanta doppleganger) and also a crazy TV interview with one DJ Sterotype of Georgia State Television who asked us to write HOT FUZZ haikus.

Mine was...

Shit blows up,
People get fucked up,
Bring the fuzz.

I realise now that this fails on the basic principle of five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables. If anyone can do better please respond.

Then after another blitz of college roundtables, print interviews and phoners (which are always dangerous and turn into psyche out competititions between myself, Simon and Nick), it was off to an elementary school to do a Action Movie quiz for Bob Longino of the Atlanta Journal. I beat Simon and Nick, but still did quite miserably. In my defence, there were too many questions about the winners of past MTV Movie Awards. I scored on the correct bodycount of BAD BOYS 2 however.

We then had a lovely dinner with Bob at a restaurant called Bones for some fantastic steak action and then off to the screening itself.

The Plaza Atlanta Theatre was absolutely rammed to the gills and we got a lovely standing ovation. So nice.

Nick got the first of two happy birthday renditions, we all got onstage hug requests (two female, one male) and yet another big ass birthday cake was presented.

And to top off one of the best Q&A's we've ever done, the same Spacecake Enabler was in the audience. And wouldn't you know it, brought forth another big bag of Cosmic Brownies.

To cut a long story short, the rest of the evening back at the Intercontinental Buckhead took on a very giggly air.

I can safely say that I have never been quite so...ahem...elated. Just one brownie was enough to send me into a state of Chong that I've never seen the like of.

And what better way to celebrate such a state with my good friends, the Frost, Lovely Big Joe (LBJ) and the Fresh Pegg?

How about flushing a third birthday cake down Nick's toilet as a thrilling climax to the blog.

The footage of this moment is so goofsome that you may get a contact high just from watching it.

Look out for it sometime - on America's Funniest Cake Flushings.

Next up - I spend the whole of our trip to Dallas trying to get the spacecake out of my bloodstream.

More shortly.

Edgar

Dolph Does Dallas

girl afraid — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 00:03:19 -0000

This blog entry will be brief.

Mainly because Dallas was something of a blur. What I like to call Escape From Space Mountain.

You see the celebrations of Nick Frost's birthday hung heavy on me as we flew into Dallas Fort Worth International. The clouds were gathering over Texas that night and as the heavens opened I experienced a Brownie Comedown.

Things got more surreal as we were whisked into the AMC Northpark and a red carpet for the AFI Dallas Festival. We did a few TV interviews; one ten minute talk ending dispiritingly with the questions "Sorry, and you are?" followed by "And you worked on?".

We then jumped into the elevator and made our way into the multiplex itself where the festival organisers threw us a curveball.

"Dolph Lundgren is here to introduce you guys tonight. He's been in town directing a movie and we thought it would be appropriate that he host tonight's screening".

As we shook hands with a very nice and polite Drago, we couldn't help wondering how exactly Dolph's introduction of HOT FUZZ was in any way appropriate.

Mr. Lundgren was not someone that I especially linked with classic cop action - although to be fair; I COME IN PEACE (aka Dark Angel) has its moments.

Either way, Dolph brought us onstage after plugging his new movie MISSIONARY MAN (which surely is begging for a companion film entitled DOGGY DUDE) which allowed Simon to fulfill a lifelong ambition by saying "Thanks Dolph".

After our intro we ran through tropical showers to have dinner at Sevy with the very lovely, very dry Robert Wilonsky.

As we talked with Robert - it suddenly hit us as to why Dolph was the perfect host.

He was fucking He-Man!

I've never cried Doh! over Dolph before. There's a first time for everything.

The shame of not recognising the Grayskull link hung heavy over the Q&A. This combined with my post-cake blues drove this young man to skip a AFI reception and skulk to an early bed at the Crescent Court Hotel.

Party Points Deducted - 50

The next morning was a brighter affair where we had a bundle of fun on GOOD MORNING TEXAS. Ultimate Fighter Chuck Liddell had fallen asleep on this show not two weeks before. We took great zeal in repeating his snooze.

We then did a whole days worth of press before hightailing out of Dallas by car.

Since there were Tornado warnings, the idea of flying to Austin did not appeal, so we loaded up into the SUV and sailed close to the wind on a stormy sojurn to Austin.

We came 20 km away from a Twister. Which was quite exciting.

I'm toying with a MB Games based joke about Ker Plunk and Mousetrap, but it's late and your correspondant is shagged out.

Back soon with more Tex Mex fun.

Edgar

P.S. My sincere apologies for a less than action packed blog. Dolph notwithstanding.

EDGAR DOES GRINDHOUSE!

girl afraid — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 00:02:48 -0000

Ahoy there.

Any US readers out there, I urge you to go out in the next 48 hours and see GRINDHOUSE.

Not only is it going to kick all kinds of ass (small, medium, large), but as you may or may not know...

I wrote directed and edited one of the fake trailers.

To reveal much more would spoil the fun...but...

Exclusively on my MySpace blog I shall reveal the whole cast of my trailer...

JASON ISAACS (Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire)
MARK GATISS (The League Of Gentlemen)
GEORGINA CHAPMAN (The Business)
NEIL BELL (Dead Man Shoes)
LEE INGLEBY (Spaced!)
KATIE MELUA (Bicycle Fact Songstress)
MYANNA BURING (The Descent)
PATRICIA FRANKLIN (Hot Fuzz)
LUCY PUNCH (Hot Fuzz)
NICK FROST (Zombies Party)
RAFE SPALL (Hot Fuzz)
LYSNEY POW (Sacred Evil)
DAISY HAGGARD (Man Stroke Woman - also daugther of VENOM director Piers Haggard)
SIMON PEGG (Buttercup Cough Syrup Adverts)
STUART WILSON (Hot Fuzz, No Escape)
PETER SERAFINOWICZ (Look Around You)
MATTHEW MACFADYEN (Pride And Prejudice)
LAUREN LAVERNE (The Culture Show)
KEVIN AND NICK WILSON (Shaun Of The Dead / Hot Fuzz)
LITSA BIXLER (Choreographer On Shaun Of The Dead)
SCARLETT PERDEAUX (Shaun Of The Dead)
EMILY BOOTH (Pervirella, Evil Aliens, Bits)
MICHEAL SMILEY (Spaced)
NICOLA CUNNINGHAM (the curiously hot Mary from SHAUN OF THE DEAD)

And that's not all...

On music - one David Arnold.

On voiceover - the godlike Will Arnett.

Enjoy!

Edgar
x

p.s. Anyone seeing it at the Manns Chinese tomorrow - see you there!

REMEMBER THE ALAMO DOWNTOWN: March 31st, 2007

girl afraid — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 00:02:12 -0000

Ahoy there squirts.

Apologies for the tardy nature of these blogs.

The last week has been a very pleasant blur.

Was it only a week ago that we were in Austin, TX and hosting the FUZZTIVAL?

Either way, Saturday March the 31st will go down in my computer (ref: PLANET TERROR) as one of my favourite movie going experiences of all time.

Huge kudos to the Alamo team, Tim League is in a tim of his own. There are so many great rep cinemas across the U.S, but the Drafthouse is hands down the best. Both they are the AINT IT COOL news team have done wonders setting up amazing events like this. I doff my cap to you Mister Knowles. (Harry that is, not Beyonce's Dad).

Sadly the Downtown location is to close and relocate to another old theatre nearby. Apparently we were going to be one of the last events. A nice way to go out.

I digress. Having narrowly escaped Jan De Bont's TWISTER, we rocked up at the Four Seasons. This was the only black mark on the weekend. Sure, the Four Seasons is nice and swanky, but I like my hotels with a little more character.

I didn't come all the way to Austin to sleep in a bedroom that looked like my grandmother died in it*. I'll take the haunted Driscoll again next time. Give me room 1408.

(*NB to Four Seasons employees. If later on this tour we are booked into one of your hotels again, please don't wipe your arse with my toothbrush).

Things brightened immediately by hooking up with some old friends in Austin. Our lovely assistant editor Tina Richardson was in town and in the absence of Mister Robert Rodriguez himself, we hooked up with his equally wonderful sister Rebecca. The ten strong Rodriguez clan are all incredibly talented, but don't let her Number 9 ranking fool you. Rebecca is the very much the George Harrison of the multi talented Texan tribe.

Tina Richardson was on a well-earned holiday; as well she should after being part of the most exhausting edits of all time. Hot Fuzz has 6 and a half thousand cuts lest we forget.

Anyhow, we had dinner at Manuels and there met Meghan, a fan who'd flown all the way from North Carolina with her fella. I have no idea what that exact distance was, but I was impressed.

We then had quick drinks at Speakeasy until the music to obnoxious ratio became too high and we high tailed it back the House Where Old People Go To Die. Cue more drinks.

The next morning was F-day. The Fuzztival itself. A five film celebration of cop movies climaxing with a screening of HOT FUZZ (Cops Party).

Frustratingly, since we had interviews til the mid afternoon, I was going to miss the first two films; ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE and POLICE STORY 2, but I made damn sure I gave them the proper intro – so I spent much of the first half of the day racing from interviews at Hotel Cocoon over to the Drafthouse.

Having been at some Fuzztival events at the ICA in London where I had introduced films to barely 15 people (London cannot do rep cinema), I figured that maybe the first couple of films would be half empty leading up to full attendance for HOT FUZZ.

Wrong. Austin loves cinema.

The place was packed at midday. What a great feeling.

All the AICN news gang were there, Captain Harry Knowles, Quint, and Massyrman. We were only one Capone and a Moriarty away from the full set.

In fact myself and Joe Cornish are of the opinion that someone should make action figures of all the web bloggers. Call them Aint It Coollectibles. Who wouldn't want to play with a plushy Harry in the privacy of their own home?

A word of caution however, Quint features some accessories that may be considered a choking hazard.

The crowd gave me a warm hand on my entrance (ref: Julian Clary) and I did my intro to ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE; pointing out its thematic similarities such as Robert Blake's character being a inspiration for Danny Butterman and the fact that it has the inverse concept to HOT FUZZ. Ours is a big story played out in a tiny town; ELECTRA GLIDE is a small story played out against Monument Valley; the landscape dwarfing our already diminutive hero.

I also made a hot fuss about ELECTRA's end shot – one of the greatest final shots in cinema, the fact that it features Robert Blake's best performance other than in court and the great trivia nugget that Peter Cetera plays drug dealer supreme Bob Zemko. Peter's second greatest claim to cinema history; his first of course being the GLORY OF LOVE from THE KARATE KID: PART II.

Couldn't stay for the film, which was apparently a great print too. Shame. I'd seen it recently at the ICA on a very old and scratchy print. It was still amazing though.

If you haven't. See. Now.

After more interviews, I raced back to the Drafthouse.

Next up was POLICE STORY 2. In truth this is not my favourite Jackie Chan film and I do prefer the original film. However it does contain some of the best and most badass stunts of Jackie's career.

I made my analogy in my intro that most Jackie Chan films are like porn movies; once you've seen them and figured out where all the good bits are, you need never watch the whole movie again.

As previously stated however, POLICE STORY 2 has more money shots that you can shake a fuckstick at. The playground fight, the ambulance stunt, Jackie's jump off a bus through a window, the fight in a firework factory, Jackie running up a wall to avoid a car and the greatest running-away-from-a-fireball of all time.

Again I had to leave, but after the last interviews I was back, back, back to watch the whole of SUDDEN IMPACT with the Alamo hardcore.

As I mentioned in my intro, SUDDEN IMPACT is my second favourite Dirty Harry film; the original being far and away the best. What's so fun about the film is that its flaws are what make it ridiculously entertaining. It's trashy, it's nasty, it's cartoonish and it rocks. For such a well made, nicely photographed film – it has the spirit of grindhouse in its veins; with Sondra Locke's plot recalling the grubbiest of rape / revenge exploitation. I even joked that the seaside set film should have been called I SPIT ON YOUR PIER.

Other great things about the film include the inclusion of a farting bulldog called Meathead as Harry's companion, the limitless supply of Mafia goons and gangbangers out for Callahan's blood and the finale to a four film long joke with black actor Albert Popwell playing a different black stereotype in every film; robber in DIRTY HARRY, pimp in MAGNUM FORCE and revolutionary in THE ENFORCER.

Finally in SUDDEN IMPACT, Popwell gets to play the doomed partner. Such a great in-joke. In honour of the late Albert Popwell, we named Nicholas Angel's predecessor in Sandford after him.

Watching the film with Joe and Rebecca was a hoot and the audience laughed, cheered and snickered in all the right places; not least my observation that Sondra Locke plays the most obvious villain of all time, especially with her insane self-portraits.

Next up was FREEBIE AND THE BEAN, but before that it's worth pointing out the aspect that makes the Alamo screenings so amazing.

The trailers.

Tim League and company had put together the most amazing array of vintage cop trailers I had ever seen. Such a great immersion in the genre for the crowd. Watching trailers for FUZZ, SHARKEYS MACHINE, CRUISING, COBRA, BRANNIGAN, THE GAUNTLET and many, many, many more was like COP 101.

Each performance had nine trailers before them. Pure geek heaven.

Then FREEBIE AND THE BEAN hit the screen.

I'd seen this as a kid on TV and then again watched it on a shitty VHS copy whilst we were writing.

What an unsung film this is. Truly the original cookie mould for all buddy films; surely a huge influence on Shane Black. It's a total blast.

My theory in the intro was that FREEBIE AND THE BEAN was the 70's version of BAD BOYS 2. Banter, violence and total vehicular destruction.

It's also in the great tradition of excessive comedy epics; the 60's had IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD, 80's had THE BLUES BROTHERS, the noughties brought us BAD BOYS 2.

Haven't yet figured out the 90's one. Answers on a postcard, please.

James Caan and Alan Arkin are great in it; with Jimmy Caan especially being a revelation. His timing is amazing in. If you see it, check out his deadpan phone call to the station after they driven their car into a third floor apartment. Something else.

As mentioned in my intro, its other more unfortunate link with BB2 is the non stop sexism, racism and homophobia. For the most part the film does this with a wink and gets away with it. More than that its funny – and works much like equal opportunity offenders like Lenny Bruce, Dennis Leary or Sarah Silverman (my future second ex wife).

The final scene however does sour the enterprise somewhat as the depiction of the gay transvestite killer is really quite dubious.

But don't let three highly suspect minutes put you off, otherwise FREEBIE AND THE BEAN is a trip and well worth seeking out. Plus it has one of the best car chases of all time. You cannot go wrong with that.

More than that the film plays so well with a big crowd, that for a moment I worried that there was no way HOT FUZZ could follow it.

We had to bring out the big guns.

Whilst I had been geeking out at the Drafthouse, Simon and Nick had been shopping. They had bought three Pearl Button cowboy shirts from Sheplar's for our intro and Q&A.

So lo and behold we took to the Drafthouse stage like the Three Amigos. The Austin posse gave us such a cool reception; a standing O in fact.

It must have been the shirts. They looked so awesome. I am keeping mine.

Whilst the film was on we had a quick bite and then watched the last half of the film. The reception was enough to reduce one to man tears.

The Q&A too was a bundle of fun and the staged was charged with man heat as I exclusively revealed that to relieve the repetition of press interviews I sometimes amuse myself my placing a hand on Nick Frost's sexwand.

The questions and flippant answers took us well beyond the midnight hour and then we went out to the lobby and did a monster signing. Shout us to all the nice fellows and lovely ladies who made the session a total delight.

You all separately rock.

Finally; just to blow smoke up the asses of Tim League, Harold Knowles and the entire Alamo staff, not least the amazing waiters – we had our very own FUZZTIVAL poster which was absolutely incredible. It will be forever on my wall.

And that was pretty much it. Party time had elapsed since our signing took us past last call at the bar.

So once again it was back to L'Hotel Grand Dame De Mort for gin and mischief.

Powering down. Buh bye.

GO MARINERS! - SEATTLE, April 1st and 2nd, 2007

girl afraid — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 00:01:31 -0000

Here we go again, blogging it like its hot.

So, with the memory of the Alamo still fresh in my Tex Mex fried mind, we hotfooted it to Seattle.

(I say "hotfooted" it, the journey took us all day long.)

When we hit Seattle I was beat. Even the combined thrills of Starbucks, seafood and the Space Needle from the Frasier opening (my least favourite TV theme tune of all time) couldn't raise me from my half slumber.

I reluctantly went out to dinner at a seafood joint called Oceanair and ended up having a high old time.

Then immediate slumber followed.

The next day saw a rude awakening on BJ SHEA Morning Experience on KISW-FM. Since it was opening day of the baseball, the zoo crew were out in full force for the Mariners game. It was a little weird getting up not twenty minutes before and then being on a live radio show surrounded by a pitcher glugging audience. If we hadn't had 10 hours of interviews later, we would have happily partaken in the beerfest.

BJ the host was really nice and loved the film, a young lady showed off an awesome Shaun tattoo and there was guy playing kegs like synth drums.

This is 8.15 in the morning, just to reiterate.

On the way out, a pitcher clutching Mariners fan chided me for not having a beer in my hand and bellowed "I thought you guys were supposed to be drinkers". If he had also discovered that I don't as a rule like sports, I would have been killed on site.

Then it was back to the W Hotel for another round of press interviews from 10 until 3. During a round of phone interviews, things got a little out of hand when we conducted the conversation in our pants.

Video footage of this will surface later no doubt.

Once we were all done, the merry quartet split two ways. Simon and Nick went to the Mariners game and me and Joe (like the media ponces we are) went to watch BULLITT at the Varsity Theatre.

Steve McQueen's San Fran classic was the Fuzztival prelude to HOT FUZZ. As I mentioned in my intro, I'd never seen it on the big screen.

The print was great and BULLITT was great to see huge. There was a bit of overlaughing at some of the dated aspects of the film; clearly some Fuzz fans were on spacecakes.

A couple of bits deserved the titters - especially a very long suspense sequence featuring an ancient telefax.

Otherwise, the Mystery Science Theatre treatment was wholly undeserved. BULLITT kicks seven shades of ass (maybe edging eight) and was a thrill to relive some forty years on.

Great score, the king of cool, Robert Vaughn out smarming Dalton in HOT FUZZ and a gear wrecking car chase. Bliss.

The FUZZ screening itself was great too. Simon and Nick returned from the Baseball game tipsy and triumphant as the home team won. I believe the parlance is 'knocked it out of the park'.

Best Q&A moment? The question - "What other methods would you advise to take out old ladies?". Nick's reply "A long hot summer?".

And that pretty much was that.

Car. Bed. Drop. Dead.

PARTY POINTS DEDUCTED - 100

I'd love to say that I got to saw more of Seattle this time round, but times waits for no man on this tour.

Next time I come to town I want to eat King Crabs off Eddy Vedder's head whilst injecting a Venti Americano into my eyebulb and singing "black coffee and scrambled eggs".

Next time.

Edgar

STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO

girl afraid — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 00:00:42 -0000

Saturday, April 14, 2007

This was, as far as I was concerned, the Big Daddy of the tour.

San Francisco is, after all, the International City Of Cop Movies.

Yes, you have NYC and L.A. both with many more cop movies to their name. But each have so much more to them in filmic terms; terrorized by giant gorillas and killer quakes.

But as a film fan I find it hard to even think of San Francisco, without picturing a Mustang screeching its streets or Scorpio sniping from the rooftops.

San Francisco has McQueen in BULLITT, Eastwood in DIRTY HARRY, even David Caruso in JADE.

Okay scrub the last one and replace with FREEBIE AND THE MOTHERFUCKING BEAN* (*Not the actual title, although there was a hardcore spin off called…PHOEBE FLICKS THE BEAN).

So given the awesome lineage of THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO (TV 1972 – 1977), home also to VERTIGO, ZODIAC, THE ROCK, INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS and Michael Douglas' V-Necked defective sex detective, you'd think we'd have a little time off to savour the hot cop action.

Wrong.

We had nary an hour off in our 24 hours in San Francisco.

That put paid to our Haight Ashbury love in.

So straight off the plane we went to the Ritz Carlton and launched into a solid six hours of interview. This included an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle where the photographer, a small sixty something lady made crazy high pitched speaking in tongue noises whilst snapping us. Amazing to behold.

Meanwhile I got Lovely Big Joe to source a bunch of classic cop locations to see how many we could cram into our 60 minutes.

We did a fair bit.

First up Steve McQueen's apartment on the corner of Clay and Taylor (1153 Taylor Street), where he wakes up groggy in the films opening and goes home to the Original English Hottie Jacqueline Bisset at the close.

On the other side of the street is the corner where he parks his Mustang, grabs a paper and get his week's supply of frozen food from the market (1199 Clay Street).

Upon finding the spot of the long gone paper stand, we overhead a Boston couple also remarking "This is where he got the paper!". The Bullitt fans are legion. We chatted to them for a while, before heading into the deli.

The interior of the store looked a lot different, but there was a faded picture of Steve McQueen on the wall. I asked the clerk if a lot of people asked about "Bullitt".

He replied, "Every day man, every day". Then after a pause. "That shit gets old".

We skipped back to the car and bumped our way around some of the neighbouring hills in the Bullitt chase, then past the Washington Square, North Beach where Scorpio scopes out a hilariously stereotypical gay couple in DIRTY HARRY.

We also swung briefly past Michael Douglas' apartment in BASIC INSTINCT on 1158 Montgomery Street. Not necessarily my favourite film, but it is fair to say that Detective Nick Curran's buttocks thrusting into Catherine Trammell is an image that cannot be washed off my brainbanks.

God I wish I could.

Finally, since we didn't have time to whizz over to Mount Davidson Cross and re-enact the scene with Scorpio in the red balaclava, we did manage to find the spot of the diner where Dirty Harry uttered the now legendary "Make my day" speech. Sadly the old diner is now a MacDonald's (701 3rd Street, China Basin)

It's sad to see cop film history stomped on by Ronald McDonald. Where's the Blue Plaque?

"In 1982, Inspector Harry Callahan's day was made when he introduced three stick up merchants to his good friends Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson".

One thing's for sure, Harry Callahan would have shot Hamburglar in the back with his 44.

And that was it. Free time over.

We then introduced the film at the Embarcadero and went to a fancy ass restaurant called Frisson, where the starters were called "Flirtations" and the entrees were called "Commitments".

We never found out what the desserts were called? "Angry Post Row Sex", "Mid Life Crisis", "Irreconcilable Differences", "Custody Battle", "Career Suicide Affair With Young Brazilian Boy", "Two Kids By Three Fathers"?, "Depressing Slide Into Merely Acceptable Sexual Relations", "Slow Creeping Realisation That Other Half Is Like The Acupuncturist From AUDITION"?

Readers, we need to know!

We went back to the screening and did another fun Q&A and signing. Then as per usual our party spirit had deserted us after a full day of press and it was back to the Ritz Carlton for a quick gin (but sadly no mischief).

To give an idea of how burnt out we were, Nick Frost had another cake celebrating his birthday. And it was not flushed.

This was partly down to the fact that The Frostatollah decided that the old toilet couldn't handle his sweet load and decided otherwise.

It was truly The Cake That Got Away. As previous readers have suggested, the cake was then sent to Africa.

By catapult.

The next morning saw another full morning of interviews, before heading back to the airport.

Los Angeles beckoned with the very real prospect of going straight into a Hollywood Foreign Press Association junket from the plane.

San Francisco, once again, I barely knew Ye.

Next up. More.

Buh. Bye.

Edgar

TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. (April 5th to the 8th)

girl afraid — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:59:33 -0000

La La, love you.

So, straight off the plane and straight into a press conference...

The Four Seasons is a hotel famous for endless press junkets, a revolving door of megastars and hotel bar filled with expensive escorts.

And my destination, a junket with the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. This body of international journalists and critics run the Golden Globe Awards, which is brilliantly unique in having a Best Comedy category.

I can safely say that the next thirty minutes spent with the HFPA were among the best I've ever spent. I shall remember them forever. I can only hope and pray that similarly they remember me until at least February next year.

Fingers crossed.

That said, I did have a fun old time talking to journalists from around the whole world. When I was done, it was off the hotel.

Off then finally to the legendary Chateau Marmont, a wonderful 30's Art Deco landmark where stars go to drink and very occasionally die.

As I stupidly checked into room 1408, Nick was even more foolish to insist on having the Bluto Blutarsky suite.

Not a good start.

Either way, I do love me a slice of Chateau. Even if occasionally it is overwhelmed by ex pats who can be safely filed in the section of the shed marked 'Massive Tools'.

More of that later.

So, onto our first port of call, a Q&A at the Armand Hammer Museum for FILTER magazine, which has a supremely swanky screening room that looks like something out of Buck Rogers (the late 70s' Wilma-Deering-Early-Stirrings-Of-Sexual-Feelings version –natch).

With Simon's wife Mo in tow, the screening went well and fun was had at the Q&A, not least by two rabid Burt Reynolds fans sitting in the back (that's you US VS. THE WORLD – shout out!).

Drinks were had in the fancy courtyard, before we hightailed back to the Chateau and sipped nightcaps with America's Funniest Couple (USA Today) Amy (SNL) Poehler and Will (DON'T) Arnett. What a lovely pair they are too.

Also swinging by was none other than Harvey Weinstein. As the gin and tonics flowed, Harvey promised me a 100 million dollar budget for the feature version of DON'T. At least I think that's what he said.

Bed beckoned.

The next day brought another full day of press junkets in The Four Seasons. Fortune shone kindly on us, as that we were sharing a floor with the YEAR OF THE DOG press junket and our good friend Ned Schneebly AKA Mike White.

Was fun hanging with Mr.White again as well as the various other celebs swinging through at junket junction. Not least one Kirsten Dunst, who Simon will soon be starring with in HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE.

Miss Dunst seemed super nice and also her appearance at the hotel allowed both me and Nick to crack the same lame pun. "Hey, Kirsten Dunston checked in!"

Solid gold.

(*BTW – we later heard that Miss Dunst was so impressed by Frost's birthday cake flushing antics (a tasty burial at sea) that she tried it herself with new birthday beau Johnny Borrell. We applaud you.)

That night we had dinner at Mr Chows with the whole gang and young Michael Bacall, a talented young writer and former child actor. He played the seminal role of Sicky Orphan No.4 in THE A-TEAM no less. More recently he cropped up in Tarantino's CSI episode as well as DEATH PROOF where he gets his own soundbite on the OST. Now that's something to tell the grandchildren.

It's become one of favourite past-times of late to quote the ANNIE HALL scene with Woody Allen besieged by Teamster fans ("Alvy Singer, right here!") and change the name to your colleague/friends most obscure career moment.

Par example: We would point at Bacall and yell very loud "Hey! Sicky Orphan Number 4! Right here, right here" in our thickest Brooklynese.

Mine would be "Hey! French And Saunders Christmas Special, right here!"

We made our way over to the Clarity screening room to give good Q&A to a Gen Arts screening and a cosy, but appreciative audience.

Also present at this screening was our new best friend Bill Hader from SNL, who does the most amazing impersonations of everyone from Pacino to Vincent Price to Taun Taun (link)

More quick drinks were had with the 99 per cent super nice crowd and one ex pat tool (see above) whose alleged claim that SHAUN OF THE DEAD was his favourite film was immediately shown up by his weird and highly offensive and racist misquoting of his 'favourite line'.

I shall not repeat his dubious clunker but safe to say that I had to escape his clutches and sadly leave the otherwise pleasant Gen Art bunch and get the hell out of Dodge.

Myself, LBJ, Sickly Orphan No 4 and Bill Hader ("Hey! Taun-Taun. Right here!") scooted over to the premiere party for YEAR OF THE DOG and nattered with both Mike White and Jack Black (the monochromatic power duo) in the courtyard of the Paramount Pictures lot.

And still the night wasn't over! I then scooted back to the Chateau to meet up with Lucy Punch; star of HOT FUZZ (she plays Eve Draper of annoying laugh infamy) and have a good old fashioned gossip.

She still hadn't seen HOT FUZZ and was about to depart back to London. We had an epic catch up marred only by (see above) another bunch of drunken ex-pat Massive Tools.

Whilst walking Miss Punch to her car, the hammered Brit pack walked past me screaming "Oi you fucking wanker, go on, kiss her, get her to come back, you missed out you tosspot" etc, etc, ad nauseam.

The only thing more cripplingly embarrassing than this was having to then get in the very slow elevator with them as they tried to get me to come back to their room and party. Your correspondent politely declined.

For the record, just because you meet fellow countrymen doesn't mean you automatically have to hang out with them, frequent English style theme pubs, watch England and talk about The Who.

Pass.

The next day started a little better, we did a whole bunch of phone interviews as well as a taping for Reelz Channel at the LA Center Studios (the forecourt of which was used for several scenes in ANCHORMAN).

Then I had the whole afternoon off. It was a special day today. It was GRINDHOUSE opening day.

And within minutes of getting back to the hotel, QT called me and we hooked up to eat nachos at the Saddle Ranch. Not only am I a very lucky young Brit to shoot the shit with one of my favourite directors, but it is a privilege to have his ear and him give me great advice on life, love and career. He can write incredible screenplays, but he's also the best psychiatrist I know.

We then hotfooted it over to the 8pm of GRINDHOUSE at Manns Chinese. Frost, Pegg and Wife, LBJ, Sickly Orphan were all in attendance – along with The Worlds Most Handsome Genre Director, Eli Roth, his family and pretty much all of the girls from DEATH PROOF and PLANET TERROR.

Man, the screening was a blast. My first time seeing it with a sold out 1100 strong crowd. Was one of the most memorable moviegoing experiences of my life.

Both films rocked hard. Not only that, but my trailer got a huge laugh. An amazing, overwhelming experience.

Despite the many naysaying articles crowing on about the film's performance this week, for the record I can say that on my watch, at the screening I attended, that film was a unqualified hit. I'm not sure I've ever heard so much applause and huge laughs. It was like being at a rock concert.

I think it's a huge achievement to have grossed 11.9 million with a three and a quarter hour R-rated epic over the kid friendly Easter weekend. Personally I'm sick of the current three day climate of calling 'hit' or 'flop' by Saturday morning. Quentin and Robert have created a midnight movie for the ages. If GRINDHOUSE isn't the ulitimate in cult classics, I don't know what is.

If you were planning on skipping this movie….DON'T.

After the film, me and QT briefly swung by the Vista in Los Feliz and were accosted by two bogus policemen dressed handing out HOT FUZZ flyers. They actually accosted QT and said "Yo, Quentin. You have to check out this movie Hot Fuzz!" to which he duly replied "I have and it's awesome".

After this deeply surreal moment it was time for more Margaritas (mischief unconfirmed at time of press) back at Casa Quentin.

Saturday morning brought a hangover of which could only be truly solved by two Q&As. As luck would have it, two were on the schedule. One at Harmony Gold for Creative Screenwriting Magazine and then one at the Aero in Santa Monica for our L.A. HOT FUZZTIVAL.

The first (powered by black coffee) was a blast with an in depth discussion of the sometimes painful process of knocking out a screenplay.

The second was a triple bill of HOT FUZZ, POINT BREAK and HARD BOILED. I did question the order, but either way it was rammed to the gills.

Plus we had a secret weapon that night – one Timothy Dalton. The crowd went wild for him and his tales of moustache related mirth; the Prince Barin is the hair accessory of 2007.

The Q&A was amazing and the Daltonator was a great addition.

After a messy signing in a back alley (sorry if I missed anyone), we returned to the theatre to introduce POINT BREAK.

The cinema had emptied following HOT FUZZ. Only a sixth of the audience had stayed for the film. Oops. The Alamo had the right idea about the order of events.

Even despite the clerical error, we still gave POINT BREAK a good send off and remarked that the fact that forty people had stuck around for the most Homo-Erotic Film Of All Time spoke volumes about their curious side.

We then decamped to the bar opposite as I waited to do my lone intro to HARD BOILED. It would have been very easy to have called it a night, but I wanted to be loyal to the hardcore who were staying for the Woo classic.

Whilst POINT BREAK played, our ever growing entourage sipped drinks; young Pepper Potts was there as well as our good friend James Duval and many others. Michael Bacall had brought his friend Elvin who amazingly had played a wormhole technician in DÉJÀ VU. I was thoroughly impressed indeed, although admitted to him that no attempts to explain time travel with paper cups and cardboard tubes helped me understand the film any better.

Also present was Diablo Cody, who my good friend Mason brought along. She had written a great screenplay called JUNO that was currently being made into a film with Ellen Page, Michael Cera and Jason Bateman. She's also rightly famous for her non fiction book 'Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper', detailing her years as a Minneapolis pole dancer.

All well as no doubt possessing pole skills of which I will never see the like, she is a whip smart and hilarious lady and much fun was had talking about monkey movies; both of us being afficionados of the banana genre.

So, with three G&T's inside me I returned alone to the Aero to introduce HARD BOILED. Happily the theatre had started to fill out again.

Being the Film Nazi I am, I proceeded to enforce that everyone sit together at the front, with the threat of ejection for those who didn't.

I then proceeded to introduce with my firmly held belief that HARD BOILED is not only the greatest action film of all time, but is unlikely to be topped for stunt work in this day and age of CGI. I raved on about the classic steadicam shot in the hospital and it's ingenious redressing of the set whilst Chow Yun Fat and Tony Leung are in the lift.

I was astonished that half of the audience had not seen the film and reassured them that they were in for a royal treat, that staying until 11pm would pay off in silver dollars with the best action epic we will ever see. That they would not be disappointed in the slightest.

So, the crowd were suitably amped up and I left to rejoin my friends back at the bar.

As I chatted to the usher on the way out, I saw a young couple sneaking out, not thirty seconds into the film.

I was just tipsy and bullish enough to stop them.

"Hang on a second, you sat through the whole of HOT FUZZ and POINT BREAK, waited through a fifteen minute bathroom break and then after my introduction where I claimed that HARD BOILED was the greatest action film of them all...then you leave."

They laughed and claimed they were tired. I replied that I would understand if they'd left at the end of POINT BREAK, but to leave now after my intro not only didn't make sense, but I was vaguely insulted.

I had an inkling that the hubby wanted to stay and it was his tired girlfriend who was unconvinced.

So, I did them a deal. I would come and watch the opening sequence with them and if they agreed that it was indeed kickass, then they would have to stay.

I then frogmarched them back in the theatre and sat down with them. They were killing themselves laughing, but I was semi deadly serious.

Anyhow, the opening teahouse shoot out starts out and wouldn't you know - it kicked ass. The crowd were clapping and cheering, as anyone in their right mind would.

I then turned to the couple and said "Wasn't that great?".

They nodded and agreed.

I pointed a stern finger at them and said "Okay, now stay".

I then skipped out of the theatre and instructed the usher who saw the whole thing, to look out for the couple and if they bailed early, to tell them that I was very disappointed in them.

It was a fun evening.

Then. Drink. Bed. Rushed Breakfast. Car. Airport. New York.

What?

Edgar
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