CZARiNA :D

kOtabOL kOts ni pAreNg bOb Ong!:D

CZARiNA :D — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:08:40 -0000

"...mas marami pa s'yang alam kesa sa nakasulat sa Transcript of Records n'ya, mas marami pa s'yang kayang gawin kesa sa nakalista sa resume n'ya, at mas mataas ang halaga n'ya kesa sa presyong nakasulat sa payslip n'ya tuwing sweldo."

"...madaming teacher sa labas ng eskwelahan. desisyon mo kung kanino ka magpapaturo."

"nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."
-ABNKKBSNPLAko??

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"mag-aral maigi; kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka sa pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher."

"...ayokong sabihing susubok naman ako ng iba. walang "iba". wala akong iiwan, meron lang babalikan. Kung meron mang iba sa ginawa ko, yun ay ang Bobong Pinoy. Kung may magsasabi man sa hinaharap na: "Sana nagpatawa ka na lang!" Yun ay opinyong handa kong tanggapin. Marami ang kaya at pwedeng gumawa ng mga isinusulat ko ngayon para sa mga mambabasa, pero ang gusto kong isulat at gawin para sa sarili, walang pwedeng tumupad kundi ako. Inumpisahan ko ang dialogue sa ikatlong libro para ipakilala sa mambabasa ang fiction. Umatras pa 'ko ng bahagya sa ikaapat para mas maging kumportable sila dito. Sa mga susunod pa, pwede na siguro ako magtangka ng maikling kwento o nobela. Tulad ng pagsusulat ko, ayoko rin kasi malimitahan ang pagbabasa ng mga tao sa iisang klase ng libro..."

"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!"

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

"kung kabayo gagawa ng libro mahirap maging palaging politically correct para sa mga damo"

"kung ako ay isang walang kwentang manunulat, english ang isusulat ko, para kahit anu anu ang sabihin ko hindi na nila mahahalata.. kaya nga ako nagsulat sa tagalog para maintindihan ng mambabasa ang lahat ng sinasabi ko"

"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

"hikayAtin m0 LahAt ng kakilala m0 na mAgkaro0n kahit isA man lang paboritong libro sa bu0ng buhay nilA..dahil walA ng mas nakakaawa pa sa mga ta0ng literado per0 hindi nagbabAsa "
-Stainless Longganisa

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"kung paniniwalaan namin kayo na hindi naglaro ng tubig kahit na basa ang damit n'yo, kayo ang niloloko namin; hindi kayo ang nakapanloloko."

"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit.sobrang luri. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."

"Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera?Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay."
-MACARTHUR

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"iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala"

"mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"
-Alamat ng Gubat

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"Titingnan mo ba ang basong kalahating bawas o kalahating puno?"

"hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"

"Pare, isa kang totoong tao at walang halong kasinungalingan.
In English, FACT you, pare. Totoo ka. In English, FACT you!"
-Paboritong Libro ni Hudas

credits to jiellianemae

TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski

CZARiNA :D — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:07:23 -0000

TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

HOMEPAGE:
http://www.twloha.com/index.php

With YOu- Chris Brown

CZARiNA :D — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 09:14:59 -0000

dedicated to my "MHINE" ehe

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Hey lil mama, ooh you're a stunner
Hot little figure, yes you a winner, and
I'm so glad to be yours
You're a class of your own and
Ooh little cutie, when you talk to me
I swear the whole world stops
You're my sweetheart and
I'm so glad that you're mine
You are one of a kind, and
You mean to me what I mean to you
And together baby there is nothing we won't do

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... girl
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Oh girl

I don't want nobody else
Without you there's noone left, and
You're like Jordans on Saturday
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now
Hey lil shorty, say you care for me
You know I care for you
You know that I will be true
You know that I won't lie
You know that I will try
Be your everything
[ With You lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

Oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Yeah

And I will never try
To deny that you are my whole life
'Cause if you ever let me go
I would die so I won't run
I don't need another woman
I just need you or nothing
'Cause if I got that
Then I'll be straight
Baby you're the best part of my day

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
They need their boo
They gotta see their boo
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
Hearts all over the world tonight

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh(girl)
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
Baby yeah

With You by Chris Brown

CZARiNA :D — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 04:27:12 -0000

Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

CZARiNA :D — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:43:48 -0000

Kugutsu by K[bg

CZARiNA :D — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:27:29 -0000

Kyoumunoowari Hakozumenomokushi by K[bg

CZARiNA :D — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:27:19 -0000

Guren by K[bg

CZARiNA :D — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:27:18 -0000

Gazette - Guren

CZARiNA :D — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 13:27:19 -0000

Guren

yorisotta sugi shi nichi wa
itami wo yorokobi au
ryoute ni utsushi dasu
anata wo omoi naite iru

soko ni furu kanashimi ha
shiranai mama de ii yo
ansoku ni furue wo oboeta
taguri yume wa naniwo miru

usurenai de anata yo
wazuka na toiki wo kikasete hoshii
chiisana kodou de na ku
anata yo koko made oide

kawaranai yume ni tsuduki ga aru nara
douka togireruzu ni koufuku to yobe nakute mo
oborete omona ra nu hibi wo

usurenai de anata yo
wazuka na toiki wo kikasete hoshii
chiisana kodou de na ku
anata yo koko made oide

sukui no te sae mo aimai de
byou kizami no mayu wa ito wo chigirezu ni aru darou ?

usure na i de anata yo
wazuka na toiki de kiitete hoshii
chiisana kodou no oto ni
sure nu inori yo todoke

yobe nu namae wo dai te
yubiori kazoe ru ashita ha kie na i
mimi wo fusagi kii te ta
you kago yue nu oto

Guren by Gazette

CZARiNA :D — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 05:01:35 -0000